I'm spinning around in my highest heels on a pedestal looking down at the world. I'm on my own little planet here- much like The Little Prince's. Everything is at my sparkly, red feet and I feel a thousand miles away, surrounded by the dark and the gold and the stars. I'm disengaged from, and indifferent to, what doesn't concern me. If I fall now, it will be graceful, because I have no fear of falling. I feel so high and above everything, so undaunted and so... fine. Ultimately, I have not yet gained enough of the tangible to fear losing anything, but I have gained an omnipresent state of mind. I have been enlightened to this capacious extent that prevents me from believing I will ever lose this newfound knowledge I have gained. It has become a case of discovery I can never forget or lose.
I'm perched on a highchair, kicking my feet playfully back and forth against its legs, twirling my little telescope through and around my fingertips. I'm looking through it now- I'm looking down at everyone from up here. I'm looking down at you. Wait a minute- I thought this was a telescope? More like a kaleidoscope. Or more accurately so, a very particular telescope with a champagne lens. Everything I see through this is bright yet flat, twisted, filmy and fascinatingly nauseating.
Drunk on my new, stronger sense of fortitude, it's infatuating watching you all- in all your acrimony and hedonism and self denial. I could scrape your facades and pretension right off with a sharp nail. So thick and so obvious. My indifference melts away the harder I investigate. You now interest me to the extent that I am tempted to climb down off my high chair and question you all pointedly and unforgivably in a fashion reminiscent of Socrates' behaviour. I want to wander about laughing sardonically at your unwillingness to provide explanations, and laugh harder so if you dare question me back in your defence. Because you have all the right to, and because I'll lack as many answers as you do.
But what I take solace in is the knowledge that at least I attempt to break from the mould- that while I may not yet have my own answers, at least I am searching. At least I am aware of questions that require answers.
Putting down my telescope and looking starry eyed at my surroundings, I know I am untouchable in my little bubble up on this planet. Here I am aware, I am enlightened, and I am contemplative. But most of all I am content, because I am now acceptive and no longer ignorant...
